Saturday 6 November 2010

Humble Pie

“Sorry” is a feared word. It’s extremely difficult to utter, but tremendously powerful when we do. In a recent disagreement with someone I reflected on my attitude and approach. Even if I was right, was it progressive to just fight my corner and maintain my doggedness? Sometimes, to take the humble position, to say sorry and accept the arguments of someone else, to concede despite being convinced that you’re right, has an incredible effect.

On a personal level it can create a sense of detachment within you which feels surprisingly liberating. You can move on in life without having the issue constantly haunt your consciousness. On a relationship level it can do wonders to improve the depth of your interaction with others. You demonstrate that you care more about the person than the issue, which ultimately builds love and trust in your relationships. And ironically, even with regards to the issue itself, it takes the whole interaction to a more spiritual level. “Opposing parties” begin to appreciate that you’re not simply out to defeat them but that you are actually interested in the wellbeing of all involved – this removes ego and pride from the situation, and opens up the door for real solutions.

To take the humble position and say sorry is not some mindless reaction opposed to rationale and intelligence. By taking that position you allow yourself to grow from a situation rather than stagnating and frustrating yourself which will ultimately lead to degradation of your own consciousness. No doubt, there are situations when we have to stand up and maintain our resolve that “this is wrong”. But on balance, we tend to gravitate to this position more often than not, saving the humbling times for when we are outright wrong. Maybe taking the humble position and saying sorry is becoming a lost art.

Monday 1 November 2010

Soft, cozy beds

My alarm went off at 3.45am this morning. It was cold… I was tired… and I had a hard decision to make. Luckily there are no soft cozy beds in our monastery, just simple mats on floors. I finally decided to jump out of my sleeping bag and scramble into the shower. As usual, I felt fine 20 minutes later. Bad habits, they say, are just like soft cozy beds - very easy to get into, but extremely difficult to get out of. Good habits, on the other hand, are extremely difficult to form but very easy to lose.

This month is all about developing good habits. In the ancient spiritual culture of the Vedas, this period around October/November was earmarked as a particularly powerful and sacred time. Any spiritual activity performed in this “month of Kartik” renders extra benefit and reward. Just as Christmas sales coax old customers back and simultaneously attract new buyers to jump on board, this month could also be entitled a ‘spiritual sale’. Practitioners make vows to immerse themselves and make extra commitments in their spiritual endeavours. It’s a month in which we break out of the routine, and try to do something extra.

Modern self help gurus talk about the “30 day trial”. This is the idea that if you change something in your life, and continue it through for 30 days, it actually becomes a habit. The ancient sages also had this insight. Maybe it’s not just about what we can spiritually obtain from this month, but rather the changes we can make this month that will carry us forward for the next year. As humans, change is something we don’t always handle very well. Slowly but surely, however, we have to chip away at all those bad habits and develop saintly character, culture and lifestyle. Spiritual practice then becomes easy and natural.

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