Thursday 29 November 2012

i-land here i-come

Arrived in Dublin yesterday. We’ll be in jolly Ireland for the next few weeks sharing books of wisdom with everyone we meet. That means I’ll most likely be ‘off the grid’ with regards to the e-world, but very much ‘on the grid’ in terms of the physical world. The plan is to visit Waterford, Cork, Galway, Limerick, Belfast and Londonderry, arriving back in Dublin for Christmas!

These priceless books are like x-ray machines. While everything on the surface may seem fine, the x-ray machine reveals a deeper cause of concern. Similarly, beyond the slick and smooth exterior of the urban jungle, the modern metropolis faces a long list of pressing problems: the time bomb of environmental issues, territorial conflicts, struggling economies, natural disasters, rising crime and widespread poverty. On an individual level, stress, depression and suicide rates are also rising. Smiling faces, crying hearts.

The political, economic and social problems we witness are essentially caused by a neglect and disregard of spiritual values. Although modern philanthropists, social workers and political leaders may have good intentions, they fail to identify the root of the problem and instead simply address the immediate symptoms. Often their solutions are not as universal, beneficial or permanent as we would like. For that, we have to incorporate spiritual wisdom into the equation.

Only when there is inner peace can there be world peace. While people are experiencing a vacuum within, they will invariably exploit the external world to fill that void. While there is conflict and agitation within, people will recreate the same in their relationships and communities. Thus, to nurture a spiritual heart, we are trying to become ambassadors of goodwill and share the spiritual message with others. It's welfare work with a difference. By accessing the wisdom of Bhagavad-gita, people can flourish on all levels: physically, emotionally, socially and spiritually.

Friday 23 November 2012

No Time!

In the 1960s Swami Prabhupada wrote an article entitled, “No time: the chronic disease of modern man.” In it he comments: “The busy man should try to know as to where he is going. This life is but a spot in his longest sojourn, and the sane person should not be busy with a spot only. Nobody says that the body should not be maintained - but everyone should know from Bhagavad-gita that the body is the outward dress and the ‘soul’ is the real person who puts on the dress. So if the dress is taken care of only, without any care of the real person - it is sheer foolishness and a waste of time.”

Often times, even those who appreciate the spiritual dimension in life have trouble finding time for quality practice. Work or family demands can occupy our attention and sap our energies. Many resign themselves to defeat and instead resolve to deepen their spirituality later in life when worldly demands have eased. But will life ever be free of unexpected distractions and pressing responsibilities? Cars break down, family feuds need to be mediated, homes need improvement, friends seek advice and attention, health problems slow us down and work demands drain our free time. It will always be a challenge to find time.

Thus, putting our spirituality 'on hold' in anticipation of a ‘better’ situation is a risky strategy. There’s no need to wait and no time to lose. As the American poet, Longfellow said, "trust no future, however pleasant!" The external reorganization of our life and the internal cleansing of our consciousness need not be mutually exclusive activities. Like the two rails of a train track, they can exist side-by-side. We can re-engineer our lifestyle and simultaneously intensify our spirituality; it just requires determination and organization.

We can all improve in our time management skills. Identify and eliminate the usual “time-killers” such as television, internet browsing, unnecessary phone talk and the like. Have clear goals and schedules, carefully avoiding procrastination and lethargy. Learn to strike a proper work-life balance, where you meet your financial needs and worldly responsibilities, yet simultaneously factor in quality time for meditation, scriptural study and introspection. Schedule in a time for these direct spiritual practices, and guard those hours with your life! The famous verse in (Mark 8.36) reminds us: “For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?

Friday 2 November 2012

Phone a Friend

Life is full of complexity, and making decisions can be incredibly tough. To spice it up there are emotional attachments, the stress factor, expectations of others and our general indecision and dithering. We can easily get stuck. Thankfully, we always have the option of “phoning a friend” and getting some good advice. Receiving good advice is a treat, and offering it to others is an art. It’s something we all do, and it’s something that we can all improve on. A few wise words can go a long way. Here are some reflections on refining your advice:

Before you give any advice:
  • Hear them out – sometimes people just need to be heard. Maybe they’re not expecting you to have all the answers. Maybe they just want someone to lend an ear.
  • Ask good questions – try to understand their predicament by asking questions. This gives you a clearer picture, and can help the other person see the same.
  • Reflection - what experience and wisdom can you draw upon which is relevant to this situation? Be aware of any biases and self-interest you may have, and try to be as selfless and impartial as possible.

While formulating your advice:
  • Philosophical & Practical – strike a balance between philosophical advice (that will address the deeper issues) and practical advice (that can offer immediate relief and progression). Both are important.
  • Achievable & Challenging – offer advice that people can actually follow through (this gives them hope and creates faith in you). But also challenge them to grow - don’t just give easy advice that makes you popular and doesn’t disturb them.
  • Inspirational not Intimidating – generate inspiration by sharing the benefits of following the advice. Avoid using fear tactics that force people or snooker them. 
  • Time Sensitive - always consider whether it’s the right time to offer advice. Are they in the right frame of mind to hear it? Do you need to give some intermediate steps first? Maybe things will be rectified automatically in due course of time?
  • Empathise - try to put yourself in their shoes. Avoid giving advice that you yourself wouldn’t follow. This is a good test of the strength and feasibility of your advice.
  • Another Opinion – don’t be afraid to admit that you may need another opinion. Refer them to someone else.

When you give the advice: 
  • Good delivery – demonstrate that you have understood their situation and considered the different angles. Offer the advice and explain the reasoning.
  • Get feedback - ask how it sounds. Often the best advice is created in an iterative way. Their reactions can help you refine it together and make it even more meaningful.
  • Detachment – accept that the person may not take your advice. They are not obligated. Learn to live with it, and let the person live with his or her decision.
  • Do the follow-up – keep in touch with them and see how things go. Offer ongoing support.

Maybe you can recall the last piece of advice you gave to someone. Did it follow some of these principles?

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