Soul Mates

We all need friends. On the journey of life there are twists and turns, ditches and dead ends, obstacles and opposition. But as John Lennon sang "I get by with a little help from my friends." Those who embark on the spiritual journey are brave indeed. They strive for purity in a world of degradation, they embrace simplicity amongst rampant materialism, and they cultivate selflessness in an atmosphere charged with exploitation. Anyone who goes against the grain in such a bold way will be faced with temptations, doubts, ridicule and moments of weakness. Without the encouragement, support and good advice of spiritual friends how can one continue? It would be a case of one small loner trying to hold off a tidal wave! Unfortunately, there are sincere spiritual practitioners who have given up on their spiritual friendships. Many have frankly told me that they found more integrity, morality, kindness, and love in their previous relationships with family and friends. They hoped that their friendships in spiritual circles would be deeper, warmer and more loving. Regrettably, they never really experienced that. Why would 'material' relationships seem more intimate and close than friendships amongst spiritualists?

Firstly, in the material world the standard bar is "every man for himself." Anyone who rises a little above that stands out as a great friend. In spiritual circles, however, the standard bar is "selflessness, humility and tolerance." Thus, it’s easy to see the faults in others, constantly measuring how much they fall short of the standard, all the while forgetting that they are amazing souls striving for an amazing standard. Our expectations of others on the path may be too high, and thus we feel frustrated, let down and cheated when we observe their character. Patience is essential since spiritual friendships are formed over time. We are all ‘works in progress’ and therefore we cannot expect utopia amongst even sincere seekers of the truth.

Secondly, spiritual friendships force us to grow beyond our own pride, anger, lust and envy. When we are with spiritualists we are constantly reminded of how much we are personally falling short. Feelings of guilt and failure can make us leave our spiritual friendships. Instead, we opt for the easier option of relationships where we cover these things up, brush them under the carpet, and not really give them a second thought. Spiritual friends are like a mirror helping us to see what we are really like. Instead of being scared and disappointed by what we see, we should feel empowered to know where we need to improve and how we can advance on our spiritual journey.

Thirdly, spiritualists also have personalities. Even amongst those who follow one path, there are a multitude of different approaches and moods. After all, the spiritual world is full of variety. It may take some time, but with sincere desire, determination and discrimination, one will be able to find good spiritual friends to deeply connect with. Spiritual friendship is based around an eternal truth, an eternal world, and an eternal connection. No matter how intimate the relationships of this world may seem, they will always be circumstantial and time-bound. Real soul mates have to connect on the level of the soul.

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Centre of Attention

As a traveling monk you have to keep your philosophical boxing gloves at the ready. Recently, someone quite bluntly told me they had serious issues with Krishna’s personality! I was slightly taken aback, but tried to dig a little deeper. “First God creates us for His enjoyment” they exclaimed, “Then, when we decide to leave Him, He sends us to the material world to cyclically suffer disease, old age and death. After repeated disappointment and frustration we are forced to surrender, at which time we resume our position as an eternal slave in God’s life of pleasure.” Interestingly, they then referred me to a famous Bhagavad-gita verse. There, Krishna implores Arjuna "Engage your mind in always thinking of ME, become MY devotee, offer obeisances to ME and worship ME. Being completely absorbed in ME, surely you will come to ME." There were some serious doubts here - the person had painted a picture of God as an attention-seeking ego-maniac!

I could have given a philosophical rebuttal, but instead I tried to take them on a journey to the spiritual world. As the sun rises, Krishna wakes up, frolics with the villagers, and plays a few cheeky tricks on his parents which gives them great delight. While the cows happily run around in the luscious pasturing grounds, Krishna has wrestling fights with His cowherd friends, drawing emotions of laughter, joy and loving competition. Today Krishna loses and the penalty is to carry his friend all the way home on His shoulders. Returning home later than normal, His mother is waiting in eager anticipation. Externally she rebukes him for not being on time to eat, but internally her heart is jumping for joy at the sight of her charming son. With overflowing motherly love she feeds Him a sumptuous meal till He is completely full. As everyone tucks into bed, Krishna sneaks out to the forest for a secret rendezvous with the cowherd maidens. They excitedly leave their homes and husbands, readying themselves for the amorous pastimes in the dark night. This is the moment they have been waiting for all day. After hours of intimate association, they quietly return in the early morning hours as if they had never left. As the sun rises for another day, nobody suspects anything.

Clearly, the pastimes of love in the spiritual world are bringing ecstatic pleasure to everyone involved. The nature of a loving relationship is that each side tries to please the other with no expectation of return. Their happiness is in giving happiness to others. A further twist in the tale is the fact that God actually wants to quit His occupation! The cooperation of lover and beloved in the spiritual world doesn’t simply bring equal happiness to both parties. Interestingly, it is said that the devotees of Krishna actually experience more happiness than Him! Thus, Krishna comes to this world as Sri Caitanya - God in the form of His own devotee. Feeling an intense desire to experience this happiness, He wanders the land relishing the transcendental taste of devotion to Krishna in a state of intoxicated love of God. Reentering the spiritual dimension is about elevating oneself to an ecstatic life of pure consciousness where the heart is being melted by transcendental emotions at every step. It’s not at all a dull one-sided affair.

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