Conflict Resolution

Communal living with thirty monks isn’t easy. We may dress in a uniform way and don the same haircut, but you probably couldn’t find a more diverse group of people living in such close quarters. We have monks from five different continents, all with distinct personality traits, varied psychophysical natures and a unique approach to their spiritual development. As you can imagine, there are sometimes differences of opinion! But I guess relationships in any context come with their own complexities. Husband and wife, manager and employee, teacher and student, brothers and sisters, university house mates – where there are people there is bound to be friction. Forming genuine and deep relationships is thorny, complex and testing. But those relationships stand as the most valuable asset in our lives.

Recently, I have increased my meditation on developing tolerance, humility and appreciation, knowing that such traits are the key to connecting with people on a higher level. I am trying to develop broader mindsets and approaches in my day-to-day dealings. When someone’s actions anger me, I am trying to understand what is causing them to act in that way and what the hidden history is. Usually my anger subsides, and I gain greater insight into human emotions and responses. When someone falls short of my expectations, I am trying to reassess the legitimacy of my demands, and simultaneously appreciate whatever efforts and endeavours they have made. It helps put things in perspective, and offers hope for improvement and progression. When there is conflict, instead of running away in frustration and creating emotional distance, I am forcing myself to communicate and actively try to resolve differences. It can be awkward and humbling, but it’s good to talk.

I am coming to realize that the people around me, namely parents, friends, critics, mentors, and others, are not simply there by chance. Whatever the tensions, these are the people that providence has arranged for me to relate with, and these are the relationships that will help me develop into the person I want to become. I am trying to appreciate how everyone around me is having a contribution in my life. They all have the potential to create spiritual transformation within me, knowingly or unknowingly. I hope I will work through the difficulties, and not frustratingly opt out and gravitate towards impersonalism.

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One but different...

The Bhagavad-gita offers an interesting perspective on world religions. It explains how the various traditions all stem from a divine source, and all offer the potential of spiritual elevation. The differences between them are primarily in culture, ritual and expression, while the central principles remain universal. Since the same message was taught in different times, places and circumstances, the externals had to be adapted – essentially, old wine in new bottles. While many can resonate with such an idea, there are also students and practitioners who would find such a stance difficult to digest. How can we reconcile fundamental differences on philosophical points? How can we overlook striking contradictions in the various historical and cultural accounts? Could this be a naive ‘new age’ attempt to avoid confrontation and create ‘peace, love and unity’? Without a more detailed explanation, some may say it’s a case of politically correct, but theologically wrong. How do we rationalise differences between paths that supposedly stem from the same source?

Context – religious scriptures and statements must be understood in relation to the entire body of teachings, and also with due consideration of the social context within which they were presented. ‘Differences’ may be perceived because we adopt a one-dimensional approach; taking statements simplistically, without understanding the context, purpose and background behind them.

Emphasis – different traditions and teachers may stress different things. Our spiritual evolution requires complete refinement of character and consciousness, and different traditions may well work on different aspects of this. Thus, they may emphasise different points, but such ‘differences’ are a part of a broader harmony.

Interpretation – we understand the divine traditions through the representatives of that faith. While this is perfectly natural, the teachers do have to prove themselves as transparent via mediums, free from the propensity to insert their own ideas. ‘Differences’ may surface because we mistake human opinions as gospel truths.

Authority – any religious claims must be traceable back to the original texts. In today’s world much confusion ensues due to a lack of reference to authentic scripture and religious authority. People claim to speak for a tradition yet offer no reference point for their presentation. Thus, ‘differences’ may well be due to inaccurate and erroneous presentations.

This may provide some insight into why religious traditions are one, but simultaneously different...

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Sacred Space

Yesterday, 416 billion emails were sent by 2.4 billion Internet users. Yesterday, 786,000 television sets were sold, $196 million was spent on video games, and 576 million newspapers were circulated. Yesterday, $9.4 billion was spent on public healthcare, $8.5 billion on public education, and $6.3 billion on military and defence. There was nothing special about yesterday... it was just another day. The complexity of modern civilization is surely astounding, but simultaneously worrying since we are all impelled to complicate our own lives in order to survive in this climate. To a greater or lesser extent, everyone is forced to move with the times, monks included! It’s a far cry from the rural villages of bygone ages, where people moved much slower and spiritual culture was woven into the fabric of day-to-day life.

In a recent discussion with the Archbishop Rowan Williams, we reflected on the intrinsic worth of simple living. He shared an interesting story which I’ll attempt to paraphrase. Once, a young boy approached a local Bishop asking if he could be taught how to pray. The Bishop smiled and told the boy to sit down for five minutes while he finished other duties. When the Bishop returned he found the boy walking around the room and peering out the windows. As the boy sighted the Bishop he repeated his request. The Bishop compassionately looked at the boy and said “I can teach you how to pray, but first you have to learn to sit quietly, speak quietly and eat quietly.” The Bishop left, and the boy was left with some food for thought. Truth be told, to sit silently for 10 minutes would be an uncomfortable and unnatural experience for many of us. However, that quietness is essential – we all live, but do we live consciously.

Stillness, serenity and simplicity were the key messages of the Bishop. Noisy, loud and boisterous environments; opulence and excessively luxurious habits; stressful, demanding and taxing lifestyles – these can all clutter our consciousness, and block one from accessing higher wisdom and spiritual ideals. Unfortunately, the reality is that modern spiritualists are faced with such things on a daily basis. They’re inescapable. Thus, great teachers instead recommend that everyone create a sacred space in their life; a place of retreat, a place of clarity, a place of inspiration. Every day, the spiritualist can make a concerted effort to spend quality time in their sacred space to reflect, refocus and rejuvenate. The sacred space facilitates their meditation on the deeper meaning. This space provides the necessary quietness in an otherwise madly passionate society. It’s the place from where we prepare to face the world, and it’s the place where we return for sanctuary.

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What’s in a Word

Someone recently questioned why I post and publish my own writings. Surely ancient texts like the Bhagavad-gita have already distilled the essential truths for mankind. Can our insights and understandings significantly add anything to that? Could this extra information simply divert people from going to the original source? Is it not a little proud and presumptuous to think our explanations could be clearer than the divine word? I felt my defenses going up, and a thousand arguments began to circulate in my head, but I resisted confrontation and patiently listened. It was an opportunity to reassess. After all, it is a grave responsibility to re-present the teachings of great spiritualists and distinguished thinkers. One requires genuine purity and freedom from worldly ambition. 

Writing may be seen as an exercise in self development. It’s an opportunity to crystallize thoughts and test comprehension since explaining subject matter necessarily entails that one have a good understanding of it first. While communicating universal spiritual truths, our own weaknesses, faults and deficiencies become strikingly apparent. Scribing our thoughts on paper can reveal the mysteries within. It also helps one to become more conscious of the world around them. Everyday occurrences, interactions and conversations are pregnant with insightful life lessons. Being in writing mode helps one to tune in. We may read wisdom in a book, but we see it in action in the real world.

OK, but why publish such writings? When Swami Prabhupada first arrived in New York, he published his magazine “Back to Godhead” and repeatedly insisted that every issue contain articles written by his students. He was concerned that ancient truths be carried into the modern context in suitable language and with reference to the contemporary needs, interests and concerns of the world. Swami Bhaktivinoda, another prolific writer, explained how many people simply study books, collect information and then store those facts, like a magistrate imprisons a criminal in jail. He labelled it “fruitless retention.” Rather, he said, one should take such knowledge, apply it in one’s life, and then creatively share it according to personal experience and taste. Thus, our writings are not a challenge to the great teachers, but rather a humble attempt to fulfil their wishes, and in some insignificant way encourage people to excavate the ancient writings for their own transcendental gems.

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