Failed Success

They say failures are stepping stones to success. Lately, however, I’ve been thinking how success can be a slipping stone to failure! Swami Prabhupada once commented how he faced two great tests in his life. At one point he was stripped of everything, left penniless and alone, an unknown mendicant with no fixed abode. Later in life, however, he achieved unimaginable success and recognition as a powerful spiritual leader of an international movement. He saw both as divine tests. Both required immense equanimity of mind. Both were opportunities to draw closer to God. Dealing with failure is no mean feat, but maintaining spiritual purity in times of achievement and prosperity is just as tough.

Success can divert our attention from the internal journey we are on. If success gives birth to pride and breeds a mentality of looking down on others, then what have we really achieved? If success instigates complacency, inattentiveness and a false sense of security, then how bright does the future look? If we become intoxicated by success, enjoying the limelight and fame instead of using it for a higher purpose, then how long before we are humbled? It’s interesting that we often identify external success as a sign of spiritual vibrancy. But maybe it’s not.

External success is surely a gift of God, but those achievements must be kept in perspective. Real success is internal success. Sincerity of purpose, purity of desire, dependence on divine grace, dutiful and determined effort – these are the components of internal success (not necessarily detectable by external signs). In 1965, upon arrival in America, Swami Prabhupada made an incredible prayer: “make me a success or failure as you wish”. For most of us the thought of failure is scary, demoralising and humiliating. Not something we’d welcome with open hands. Am I ready to try my best, be an outright failure, and still remain happy and satisfied? That complete detachment from external results, however, is unimaginably powerful. It comes from a heart which values internal purity and recognises divine grace in whatever form it may come. Will I ever be able to submit such a prayer with genuine feeling? It seems a long way away, but I sincerely hope so.

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Special Treatment

“Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he can and should be and he will become as he can and should be.” - Goethe (German poet)

Each one of us has the potential to bring out the best or worst in others. When we focus on people’s faults, stick labels on them, and then subsequently treat them with suspicion and reservation, we actually block their progress. By forcing people into a defensive mode, we distract them from doing the deep internal work that can give birth to their divine and innate potential. It’s not that we are simply passive and powerless victims of other peoples (mis)behavior. We are often party to it.

Great saintly teachers have shown how an approach of encouragement, appreciation, and loving discipline can create miraculous change in others. Swami Prabhupada was one such example. Having spent his entire life amidst refined and immaculate spiritual culture, he arrived in New York’s skid row and lived side-by-side with bohemians, acidheads and hippies. He saw beyond their difficulties, frustrations and problems, and detected the spark of genuine spiritual enthusiasm and sincerity. He fanned that spark, and ignited a fire that could incinerate their inner issues. Convinced that every soul is amazing, he worked hard to enliven that spirit.

Bringing out the best in others does require immense spiritual depth. We have to stop taking things personally. We have to develop a character of forgiveness and kindness. We have to be patient, and value progress above perfection. We have to avoid overreacting in provoking situations. We have to remain fixed in our values and principles despite the irrationality of others. We have to avoid the temptation to ‘hit back’ and hurt others simply for immediate relief and gratification. A tall order. I hope that one day I’ll develop the spiritual depth to conduct myself in this way. We may think that remaining sane, healthy and happy in our own life is good enough. The principle of being genuinely concerned for the wellbeing of others, however, is innate to our own progress. By bringing out the best in others, we bring out the best in ourselves.

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