Organised Chaos

When driving in India anything goes. No speed limits, no lane discipline, no right of way... do what you want, just make sure you horn so that everyone’s aware! Once, I witnessed a head-on collision, causing both vehicles serious damage. As the two drivers emerged unscathed, they came face-to-face and began debating whose fault it was. There was loud argument, fiery gesticulation and a crowd of excited onlookers who offered their “two rupees” worth. Within a few minutes, however, they came to some resolution, headed for a tea stall, and sat down together for a good old natter! It was an incredible sight! No animosity, no grudges, no bad feeling. It taught me something about their culture: chaos on the outside, calm on the inside.

Our modern culture is often the complete opposite: orderly on the outside, but chaotic on the inside! We have complex infrastructure, documented rules for everything and refined social niceties that govern day-to-day dealings. External social intercourse may be prim and proper, but many individuals experience huge chaos within. People are often inhibited from revealing their hearts, and instead lock up things within, causing destructive emotions to brew up and eventually surface in unhealthy ways. While modern culture may have succeeded in organising society into a well-oiled machine, there are clear deficiencies in the areas of community, relationships and meaningful human interaction. We’ve learnt how to live a life of organised chaos; bottling everything up, it’s often a case of smiling faces but parched hearts.

A self-development guru once held up a glass of water in front of her audience. While everyone was expecting the usual “half empty half full” exercise, she instead asked them how heavy the cup was. The answers varied from 3 oz to 10 oz. She then explained that the weight and volume of the water is not what makes it heavy – rather it’s the length of time for which we hold it. Similarly, everyone goes through challenges, anger, frustration and unrest in their life (the water in our cup). The problem is when we carry these things and fail to let go. Good social structures allow people to ‘get things off their chest’ and get on with living life. The freedom of expression helps keep things in perspective. We need to free up some internal breathing space, lest we choke our consciousness.

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Motherly Love

It’s easy to take mothers for granted. In an attempt to estimate the monetary value of ‘motherly love’, some researchers spent a week following around one such mother. She took the kids to school, so they calculated how much a taxi driver would cost. She cooked the breakfast, lunch and dinner so they approximated the wage bill of a cook. The mother also played the role of a cleaner, psychologist, accountant and nurse to name but a few. They calculated the overtime the mother put in, and how she would often go on for years without any time off (every family holiday she was fully on-call). After crunching the numbers, they discovered that to employ such a mother would set you back in the region of £150,000 a year!

That, however, doesn’t tell you the full story; the quality of the job is what really stands out. The service of a mother is incredibly selfless and unceasing. They don’t stipulate any expectation in return for their services, and are delighted when offered the opportunity to go beyond the call of duty. What to speak of receiving benefits, even when children act in irrational and ungrateful ways, the mother happily continues to serve. Their service unfailingly continues day after day, and even when the child becomes a grown adult the outpouring of motherly love doesn’t subside.

Ancient scriptures explain how our actions towards God and all living beings should be completely devoid of selfish intent. By offering our lives in service, unmotivated and uninterrupted, we experience profound satisfaction and fulfillment which otherwise remains elusive. While this may be hard to conceptualise, the living example of magnanimous mothers gives us an insight into what selflessness really is. Swami Prabhupada explained how the love between mother and child is the purest form of love found in this world. How wonderful if we could take some moments to remember this, foster a mood of gratitude, and share that selfless spirit with the entire world.

Disclaimer: I am sure many fathers also fit the above descriptions :)

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