Private Eye

Although it’s a popular notion that some people lead a double-life, I’m tending towards three. We have a public life: what we do when anyone and everyone can see us. We have a personal life: interactions and relationships with our close circle of friends. And finally we have a private life: behaviours behind closed doors when nobody else is watching. Community, camaraderie, and a strong inner life are essential components in the achievement of anything. Our spirituality is also nourished and developed in these three arenas.

Imagine we played a movie showing our public, personal and private life side-by-side. Would everything match up? Would it look like the same person? Maybe not. Some may call it hypocrisy, duplicity and pretence, but there could be more to the story. Often times it’s not deliberate or devious, but simply the result of human weakness. Social pressures, the weight of expectation and the fear of judgement can force us to present an image which is not entirely accurate. The external façade helps to deal with the internal lacking. To find somebody who embodies complete purity and integrity on all three levels is rare. Yet that spiritual consistency is our cherished goal. It’s a struggle, but we have to look for perfect alignment in all aspects of our life.

Strengthening the spirituality in our private life may help; the inside-out approach is what we see in the lives of great saints. Slipping away into solitary surroundings, with nobody to impress and nothing to achieve, these great personalities would focus on making a deep spiritual connection. Their living quarters were temporary arrangements like the hollow of a tree, a clearing under a thorny thicket, or an underground cave. Here they would slide into spiritual fixation and have their deepest exchanges with God, often continuing for hours on end. Their spiritual practice wasn’t casual or ritualistic. It wasn’t simply a discipline – it was full of emotion and feeling. An earnest call from the core of the heart. The spiritual conviction generated pervaded every iota of their being. It effortlessly oozed into every aspect of their life. They were illuminated from within, and were thus exemplary in thought, word and action. Truly amazing.

Read more »

Great Escape

Nothing can compare to lessons ‘on the road’. After spending nearly 250 hours over the last month speaking to random people from multifarious walks of life, I’ve gained some new insights and reconfirmed several old ones. A few days ago I asked everyone I met what they do to relax. The top 3 answers: 1) Sleep 2) Entertainment (TV, movies, video games) 3) Intoxication. It’s interesting that all three activities are essentially an attempt to disconnect oneself from ‘real life’. After we’ve seen, done, tried and bought it all, we usually end up wanting to escape it. Although most return to play the same game again, a rare few decide to ‘retire’ and seek something higher. According to the Bhagavad-gita, however, this desire to ‘escape’ the world is entirely natural.

“If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world.”  – C.S Lewis

The Vedic scriptures offer a variety of enchanting accounts describing the nature of the metaphysical world. In that realm, every step is a dance, every word is a song, every action is motivated by pure love, and the atmosphere is infused with ever-increasing transcendental happiness. Sounds good. Maybe too good. Ethereal concepts formulated to distract us from the aches and pains of the ‘real’ world? Fairytale accounts fit for those living in cloud-cuckoo-land? Could there be reality beyond what we see around us?

Instead of dismissing our deepest and innermost desires as childish, naive and unrealistic, it may be worth exploring where such universal longings come from. Why is the yearning for immortality and unimpeded happiness common to every entity in the universe? Maybe such desires reveal something about our higher nature and self. Maybe such desires are a constant reminder to seek further and go deeper.

Read more »

Quietly Confident

I’m all set for a one-month break from computers, meetings and management (even monks can’t escape these things!). Taking full advantage of the festive season, we’ll travel the country sharing spiritual wisdom in the form of thousands of books; ancient writings which are ‘food for thought’ in a fast-paced world. Our approximate route: London – Norwich – Hull – Sheffield – Lincoln - Chesterfield- Stafford - Nottingham - Derby – Mansfield - Leicester - London (and a lot of smaller towns in between!). Last week I dropped off the books for our team in various locations. The sight of nearly four thousand books piled high to the ceiling was slightly bewildering! Would it be possible to stand in a bustling town-centre, stop people at random, and inspire the otherwise-engaged shoppers to seriously contemplate higher truths? Have we ambitiously over-ordered our stock? Will people really be interested? Where do we get the confidence to undertake such a task?

The modern self-development gurus teach us that confidence comes from within. You have to “believe in yourself”. If you are sure, others will be sure – your consciousness creates the reality. They tell us to be optimistic about our abilities, to pride ourselves in our strengths, and to have the conviction that anything is possible if we try hard enough. This ‘material confidence’ may work in a limited scope for a short time. Such confidence, however, which is rooted in self-assurance, will gradually deflate. We eventually realise that we’re not what we pumped ourselves up to be. In his prime, Muhammed Ali would proudly assert: “I am the greatest”. Later in life he realised his folly, declaring that he was in actuality the greatest fool for attempting to usurp the Supreme position.

Real confidence comes from humility. We realise our inherent limitations, but gain firm conviction from knowing that the all-powerful will of providence is on our side. With such transcendental back-up, anything is possible. One who is ‘quietly confident’, their surety grounded in humility and dependence, can achieve unimaginable things in this world. Pride, complacency and hopelessness are not found in their dictionary. Seeing themselves as merely instruments, their job is to just “get out of the way” and let the divine magic manifest. I’m trying to learn the art of being a ‘quietly confident’ ambassador of goodwill. By accessing the wisdom of Bhagavad-gita, people can flourish on all levels: physically, emotionally, socially and most importantly, spiritually. This is welfare work with a difference. I hope I’ll play a small part in connecting people to this spiritual powerhouse.


 

Read more »

Split Personality

I remember studying a module on Human Resource Management at UCL. The lecturer emphasised the necessity of understanding people’s personality in order to maximise individual potential and create synergy in teams. I came across the "DISC model" a few days ago and decided to asses myself. The results clearly indicated that I was a "steady-cautious" type (as opposed to dominant or influential). The descriptions corroborated with my observations; I appreciated the opportunity to discover more about the strengths, weaknesses and fears I may have. Try scribing a word with your non-writing hand - it takes twice as much time and effort, feels uncomfortable and awkward, and usually comes out quite shabby and unclear! Similarly if we engage with the world in a way that is foreign to our natural personality, we end up struggling, sweating and falling short of our true potential.

We are spiritual beings on a human journey. Having passed through many chapters of existence, we are left with strong impressions from the myriad of experiences we go through. This, along with our childhood and upbringing, forms our ‘material personality’. Nature and nurture leave us with a body and mind that are wired to act and respond in a certain way! Aspiring spiritualists can also take advantage of understanding the material framework within which they exist. When committing oneself to spiritual practices, roles and responsibilities in a devotional community, it helps to be aware of our personality and the potential pitfalls we may encounter.

The Bhagavad-gita, however, goes further than modern psychology. Krishna explains that beyond our psycho-physical makeup, is an eternal spiritual personality endowed with its own divine and attractive traits. If one connects with the ‘higher self ’, to that extent one can also transcend the temporary material personality we receive. If one comes to the profound realisation that the body and mind are simply coverings of the soul, the limitations of their psycho-physical makeup can somewhat diminish. It’s comforting to know that each one of us has a unique, pure and perfect character that we simply have to reawaken. The trick is to suitably engage and absorb our temporary personality in eternal spiritual practices. Then we can really be ourselves.

Read more »

Organised Chaos

When driving in India anything goes. No speed limits, no lane discipline, no right of way... do what you want, just make sure you horn so that everyone’s aware! Once, I witnessed a head-on collision, causing both vehicles serious damage. As the two drivers emerged unscathed, they came face-to-face and began debating whose fault it was. There was loud argument, fiery gesticulation and a crowd of excited onlookers who offered their “two rupees” worth. Within a few minutes, however, they came to some resolution, headed for a tea stall, and sat down together for a good old natter! It was an incredible sight! No animosity, no grudges, no bad feeling. It taught me something about their culture: chaos on the outside, calm on the inside.

Our modern culture is often the complete opposite: orderly on the outside, but chaotic on the inside! We have complex infrastructure, documented rules for everything and refined social niceties that govern day-to-day dealings. External social intercourse may be prim and proper, but many individuals experience huge chaos within. People are often inhibited from revealing their hearts, and instead lock up things within, causing destructive emotions to brew up and eventually surface in unhealthy ways. While modern culture may have succeeded in organising society into a well-oiled machine, there are clear deficiencies in the areas of community, relationships and meaningful human interaction. We’ve learnt how to live a life of organised chaos; bottling everything up, it’s often a case of smiling faces but parched hearts.

A self-development guru once held up a glass of water in front of her audience. While everyone was expecting the usual “half empty half full” exercise, she instead asked them how heavy the cup was. The answers varied from 3 oz to 10 oz. She then explained that the weight and volume of the water is not what makes it heavy – rather it’s the length of time for which we hold it. Similarly, everyone goes through challenges, anger, frustration and unrest in their life (the water in our cup). The problem is when we carry these things and fail to let go. Good social structures allow people to ‘get things off their chest’ and get on with living life. The freedom of expression helps keep things in perspective. We need to free up some internal breathing space, lest we choke our consciousness.

Read more »

Motherly Love

It’s easy to take mothers for granted. In an attempt to estimate the monetary value of ‘motherly love’, some researchers spent a week following around one such mother. She took the kids to school, so they calculated how much a taxi driver would cost. She cooked the breakfast, lunch and dinner so they approximated the wage bill of a cook. The mother also played the role of a cleaner, psychologist, accountant and nurse to name but a few. They calculated the overtime the mother put in, and how she would often go on for years without any time off (every family holiday she was fully on-call). After crunching the numbers, they discovered that to employ such a mother would set you back in the region of £150,000 a year!

That, however, doesn’t tell you the full story; the quality of the job is what really stands out. The service of a mother is incredibly selfless and unceasing. They don’t stipulate any expectation in return for their services, and are delighted when offered the opportunity to go beyond the call of duty. What to speak of receiving benefits, even when children act in irrational and ungrateful ways, the mother happily continues to serve. Their service unfailingly continues day after day, and even when the child becomes a grown adult the outpouring of motherly love doesn’t subside.

Ancient scriptures explain how our actions towards God and all living beings should be completely devoid of selfish intent. By offering our lives in service, unmotivated and uninterrupted, we experience profound satisfaction and fulfillment which otherwise remains elusive. While this may be hard to conceptualise, the living example of magnanimous mothers gives us an insight into what selflessness really is. Swami Prabhupada explained how the love between mother and child is the purest form of love found in this world. How wonderful if we could take some moments to remember this, foster a mood of gratitude, and share that selfless spirit with the entire world.

Disclaimer: I am sure many fathers also fit the above descriptions :)

Read more »

Mind Games

During our life journey we are perpetually accompanied by the “voice within”. Yes, we’ve all experienced it - the devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other, each giving their words of wisdom to the confused person in-between. The mind is that voice; essentially a storehouse of memories and experiences that offers live options to the individual. While many identify themselves with the mind, the Bhagavad-gita defines
it as a subtle instrument at our disposal – an instrument which needs to be strictly controlled and eventually befriended. Why?

The Mind creates reality: everything starts in our heads - thoughts to words to actions to habits to a character, which ultimately designs our destiny. What we contemplate, consider and generate conviction in through the thinking process, will determine what we practically strive for in life.

The Mind translates reality: all of the situations and interactions (that we have created) are then translated by the mind. Depending on our state of mind, we experience a proportionate amount happiness, growth and contentment in response to the rollercoaster journey of life.

An uncontrolled mind will agitate, misguide and implicate the soul, forcing us to glide down to the lower nature of lust, anger and greed. That mindset emphasizes problems in every opportunity, dissatisfied with the present and perpetually hankering for a better future. The controlled mind, however, acts as a friend on our spiritual journey, helping us to make progressive and healthy choices which create wellbeing on all levels. That mindset is able to identify opportunities in every problem, ever-satisfied come what may. Now it makes sense: it’s all in the mind.
 

Read more »

Choose Life

It’s easy to (often subconsciously) separate our spiritual life from our day-to-day routine. A student can easily mistake their academic endeavours as being unrelated to their divine pursuit. A worker may view their everyday profession as a means of survival; a call of duty which adds little value to their internal development. We may conduct our worldly relationships on the basis of ‘getting things done’, unaware that every interaction leaves a mark on our consciousness. It’s clear that our core spiritual practices and focused times of reflection bolster our spiritual consciousness, but could the things we do outside of those times be just as influential?

If a student is undisciplined, lackadaisical, and irresponsible in their academic life, that mentality could possibly carry over to their spiritual practices. If a worker is dishonest, exploitative and avaricious in their worldly affairs, they may well see the same proclivities haunting their spiritual endeavours. If one is inconsiderate, judgmental and impersonal with family, friends, and the average Jo, they might begin treating their spiritual associates in the same way. As we learn of the spiritual reality it’s easy to begin neglecting what we may see as temporary, mundane and inconsequential social intercourse. We may consider such things to be unimportant in relation to the ‘bigger picture.’

The Bhagavad-gita offers the perfect balance: remain rooted in eternal truths, and simultaneously inject a healthy amount of care and attention in the 'worldly' aspects of life. Yoga is the art of connecting all of our activities, responsibilities and relationships to God. It’s easy to perpetually see these things as an obstacle, distraction and diversion from our real calling. Unfortunately, such an approach usually ends up in frustration, confusion and stagnation. More progressive is to understand that all such aspects of life have the potential to add spiritual value. The best recourse, therefore, is to choose life, accept life and make the best of life. After all, what’s on the inside is what really counts.

Read more »