Soul Mates

We all need friends. On the journey of life there are twists and turns, ditches and dead ends, obstacles and opposition. But as John Lennon sang "I get by with a little help from my friends." Those who embark on the spiritual journey are brave indeed. They strive for purity in a world of degradation, they embrace simplicity amongst rampant materialism, and they cultivate selflessness in an atmosphere charged with exploitation. Anyone who goes against the grain in such a bold way will be faced with temptations, doubts, ridicule and moments of weakness. Without the encouragement, support and good advice of spiritual friends how can one continue? It would be a case of one small loner trying to hold off a tidal wave! Unfortunately, there are sincere spiritual practitioners who have given up on their spiritual friendships. Many have frankly told me that they found more integrity, morality, kindness, and love in their previous relationships with family and friends. They hoped that their friendships in spiritual circles would be deeper, warmer and more loving. Regrettably, they never really experienced that. Why would 'material' relationships seem more intimate and close than friendships amongst spiritualists?

Firstly, in the material world the standard bar is "every man for himself." Anyone who rises a little above that stands out as a great friend. In spiritual circles, however, the standard bar is "selflessness, humility and tolerance." Thus, it’s easy to see the faults in others, constantly measuring how much they fall short of the standard, all the while forgetting that they are amazing souls striving for an amazing standard. Our expectations of others on the path may be too high, and thus we feel frustrated, let down and cheated when we observe their character. Patience is essential since spiritual friendships are formed over time. We are all ‘works in progress’ and therefore we cannot expect utopia amongst even sincere seekers of the truth.

Secondly, spiritual friendships force us to grow beyond our own pride, anger, lust and envy. When we are with spiritualists we are constantly reminded of how much we are personally falling short. Feelings of guilt and failure can make us leave our spiritual friendships. Instead, we opt for the easier option of relationships where we cover these things up, brush them under the carpet, and not really give them a second thought. Spiritual friends are like a mirror helping us to see what we are really like. Instead of being scared and disappointed by what we see, we should feel empowered to know where we need to improve and how we can advance on our spiritual journey.

Thirdly, spiritualists also have personalities. Even amongst those who follow one path, there are a multitude of different approaches and moods. After all, the spiritual world is full of variety. It may take some time, but with sincere desire, determination and discrimination, one will be able to find good spiritual friends to deeply connect with. Spiritual friendship is based around an eternal truth, an eternal world, and an eternal connection. No matter how intimate the relationships of this world may seem, they will always be circumstantial and time-bound. Real soul mates have to connect on the level of the soul.

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Centre of Attention

As a traveling monk you have to keep your philosophical boxing gloves at the ready. Recently, someone quite bluntly told me they had serious issues with Krishna’s personality! I was slightly taken aback, but tried to dig a little deeper. “First God creates us for His enjoyment” they exclaimed, “Then, when we decide to leave Him, He sends us to the material world to cyclically suffer disease, old age and death. After repeated disappointment and frustration we are forced to surrender, at which time we resume our position as an eternal slave in God’s life of pleasure.” Interestingly, they then referred me to a famous Bhagavad-gita verse. There, Krishna implores Arjuna "Engage your mind in always thinking of ME, become MY devotee, offer obeisances to ME and worship ME. Being completely absorbed in ME, surely you will come to ME." There were some serious doubts here - the person had painted a picture of God as an attention-seeking ego-maniac!

I could have given a philosophical rebuttal, but instead I tried to take them on a journey to the spiritual world. As the sun rises, Krishna wakes up, frolics with the villagers, and plays a few cheeky tricks on his parents which gives them great delight. While the cows happily run around in the luscious pasturing grounds, Krishna has wrestling fights with His cowherd friends, drawing emotions of laughter, joy and loving competition. Today Krishna loses and the penalty is to carry his friend all the way home on His shoulders. Returning home later than normal, His mother is waiting in eager anticipation. Externally she rebukes him for not being on time to eat, but internally her heart is jumping for joy at the sight of her charming son. With overflowing motherly love she feeds Him a sumptuous meal till He is completely full. As everyone tucks into bed, Krishna sneaks out to the forest for a secret rendezvous with the cowherd maidens. They excitedly leave their homes and husbands, readying themselves for the amorous pastimes in the dark night. This is the moment they have been waiting for all day. After hours of intimate association, they quietly return in the early morning hours as if they had never left. As the sun rises for another day, nobody suspects anything.

Clearly, the pastimes of love in the spiritual world are bringing ecstatic pleasure to everyone involved. The nature of a loving relationship is that each side tries to please the other with no expectation of return. Their happiness is in giving happiness to others. A further twist in the tale is the fact that God actually wants to quit His occupation! The cooperation of lover and beloved in the spiritual world doesn’t simply bring equal happiness to both parties. Interestingly, it is said that the devotees of Krishna actually experience more happiness than Him! Thus, Krishna comes to this world as Sri Caitanya - God in the form of His own devotee. Feeling an intense desire to experience this happiness, He wanders the land relishing the transcendental taste of devotion to Krishna in a state of intoxicated love of God. Reentering the spiritual dimension is about elevating oneself to an ecstatic life of pure consciousness where the heart is being melted by transcendental emotions at every step. It’s not at all a dull one-sided affair.

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Ambassador of Goodwill

Life in this world is very calculative. Before we give something we calculate what we’ll get back. Before we take a risk we calculate what we could lose. Before we invest in a relationship we calculate what benefits it will bring us. Before we extend ourselves for someone else we calculate how worthy they are of our help. While such an approach seems sensible in a world where efficiency, effectiveness and practicality are the buzzwords, in the realms of spirituality it falls short. The spiritualist has the quality of magnanimity. It literally means ‘big hearted.’ As an ambassador of goodwill, they seek opportunities to benefit even the ‘undeserving’ souls. The great saint Bhaktisiddhanta Thakur prayed for the boon that he would “always desire the greatest good for even his worst enemy.”

Saintly persons like Srila Prabhupada were incredibly practical people. They formed institutions to broadcast the spiritual message; they dealt with finance, government laws, resolved conflicts and mediated relationships. Interestingly however, they never became calculative ‘managers’ who just made the even-handed decisions based on what was fair and reasonable. Since their consciousness was always firmly anchored in the spiritual world, they carried the greatest asset possible - the overflowing spirit of goodwill. Here is a nice poem from Mother Teresa as a further reflection on this point:

Do It Anyway

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere, people may cheat you;
Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

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Can of worms

I recently met an old friend who told me the master plan for his spiritual journey. While his current 70-hour-a-week city job ensures his steady ascent up the corporate ladder, unfortunately it leaves him zero time for anything else. His plan? “I'll pay off the mortgage in 10 years time, build up enough financial security so I can retire, by that time my kids will have settled down and married, I’ll still be in good health, and thus being freed from all worldly distractions, I'll be able to fully immerse myself in spirituality.” It sounds good on paper, but I do have serious doubts. While the externals of lifestyle undoubtedly need attention and reengineering, I'm not sure that putting one's spirituality 'on hold' in anticipation of the 'perfect situation' is the wisest choice. As the American poet Longfellow said "trust no future, however pleasant!"

Once, Srila Prabhupada was being driven to a public engagement. As they hit a series of road-works, the traffic slowly built up. Within minutes all the vehicles were at a complete standstill. As they peered outside the windscreen, a huge road sign read "temporary inconvenience, permanent improvements." Srila Prabhupada laughed at the sign and exclaimed "this material world means temporary improvements, permanent inconvenience!" He went on to explain how life in this world is like a can of worms. Once we open it up, it’s impossible to keep things under our control. In the course of making our life plans so many things can go wrong and do go wrong.

The external reorganization of our life and the internal cleansing of our consciousness need not be mutually exclusive activities. Like train tracks, they can coexist side-by-side. As we progressively reengineer our lifestyle, we can simultaneously intensify our spirituality. Realistically, will life ever be free of those unexpected distractions? Cars break down, family feuds need to be mediated, homes demand improvement, friends need advice and attention, health problems slow us down and work demands drain our free time. Amidst the complexities of this world, the only practical solution is to create a sacred space within. Serious spiritualists make quality time for spiritual meditation and introspection on a daily basis no matter how busy they are. They guard those hours with their life. Sacrificing that sacred time in pursuance of a utopian ideal is a risky strategy.

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Access Denied

Although I had heard of the Bhagavad-gita since childhood, I never really felt impelled to read it. I considered that religious study was for old people, and that such literature would have little or no relevance to my life. Over the years, however, I became more and more curious to understand the world in a more profound way, and my interest in spirituality grew significantly. One morning, when a good friend randomly handed me the Bhagavad-gita in an Economics class, it struck me as a mystical occurrence. I was an inquisitive 16 year-old, keen to learn more, and maybe this book was the key that would open up many doors of understanding. Holding that sacred text in my hand, I had an overwhelming feeling that it would change my life forever. The thought of accessing universal knowledge beyond time and space was exciting. What secrets awaited me in this transcendental conversation?

I rushed home, went to my room, locked the door, and eagerly prepared myself to begin reading. In great anticipation, I was ready to be blown away. After reading a few pages, however, I received a severe reality check! I found the language complex and the concepts too difficult to grasp. I struggled to connect with the text and understand its application in my life. I was only four pages into this book and I was already completely baffled. I didn’t consider it an anti-climax however, and neither was I frustrated. I maintained the conviction that the Bhagavad-gita had something amazing to offer me, but accepted that I would have to explore it with greater effort and scrutiny.

Thankfully, that’s what I did. I asked many questions, attended different seminars, and conversed with experienced practitioners of the tradition. I learned that access to spiritual wisdom in its greatest depth requires more than just personal reading. Books like the Bhagavad-gita are better understood when discussed, debated and imbibed with the input of realised teachers. Many years later, the Bhagavad-gita remains an amazing source of inspiration and insight for me. I can resonate with Mahatma Gandhi who once said, “When doubts haunt me, when disappointments stare me in the face, and I see not one ray of hope on the horizon, I turn to the Bhagavad-gita and find a verse to comfort me; and I immediately begin to smile in the midst of overwhelming sorrow. Those who meditate on the Gita will derive fresh joy and new meanings from it everyday.”

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A.W.O.L

A young investment banker recently approached me. Frustrated with the corporate climate, demanding lifestyle, and the stresses and strains of worldly responsibility, he was seriously considering giving it all up. Such cases are not uncommon. In numerous passages of the Bhagavad-gita even Arjuna proposes he leave the battlefield and retire into the contemplative, secluded life of a monk. Would such renunciation be wise? Is it possible to work in this dog-eat-dog world and simultaneously maintain your spirituality? Can one connect to the higher reality via their worldly profession? The Bhagavad-gita offers the “3R” formula, which gives a succinct but comprehensive checklist on how to spiritualize your daily work.

Righteous – Firstly, one must endeavour to engage in righteous work. Certain occupations and livelihoods are based on exploitation, violence, dishonesty, and generally cause harm and disruption in the world. Such work is neither progressive for the individual nor prosperous for society at large. Although every type of work in today’s world is covered by some fault or imperfection, the spiritualist nevertheless endeavours to pursue a career which promotes harmony, upliftment, kindness and compassion.

Results – Secondly, our work in this world will yield certain 'fruits'. Such fruits come in the form of monetary remuneration, knowledge, expertise, skills and influence in a particular field. While such fruits help us to survive in the world, providing the necessities of food, clothing and shelter, a certain portion should be reserved for a spiritual cause. By offering charitable contributions towards the spiritual upliftment of others, one develops the qualities of detachment, selflessness and compassion which are the very hallmarks of a spiritualist.

Remembrance – Thirdly, one should attempt to cultivate an active spiritual consciousness while at work. When a famous king, also renowned as a deep spiritualist, was asked by some sages how he managed to think of the worldly and the spiritual simultaneously, he answered by inviting them over for lunch. Hanging above each dinner plate was a huge sword on a thin piece of string. The sages were reluctant to sit down, but after some reassuring words from the king they agreed and proceeded to quickly finish their meal. Later, the king inquired whether they had eaten sufficiently and also digested the food, to which they replied “yes”. He then asked them what they were thinking of while eating – “the swords!” they replied. “My life is like this” the king replied, “I perform my daily tasks with attention and care, but in the back of my mind, I am constantly remembering the ultimate purpose – in this way I can contemplate the worldly and spiritual simultaneously”.

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Politically correct

Last week my parents handed me my polling card for an upcoming local election. I do, however, have a confession to make. In the last 10 years I have failed to cast a single vote in any government election. That may alarm you, but it is the truth, and a phenomenon which is becoming extremely widespread. As elections approach, politicians may intensify their campaigns to win over public opinion, but people are becoming more and more indifferent. Many feel that the link between their vote and public policy is tenuous at best. Furthermore, the link between public policy and their own sense of wellbeing is even vaguer. Voting, many may consider, is simply not worth the effort.

When Mahatma Gandhi visited England for the “Round Table Discussions”, his British hosts gave him an impressive tour of London — Westminster Abbey, Buckingham Palace, Big Ben, Whitehall, etc. At the end, they asked him “So, Gandhiji, what do you think of Western civilization?” Gandhi replied, “I think it would be a good idea!” In other words, it was not simply social and economic infrastructure that made one cultured and guaranteed wellbeing and prosperity for all. The real measure of a civilization is the character of the people and the ethos and aspirations of the society. In Vedic culture, the governors of society were guided by saints and sages who were uninvolved in matters of power, prestige and profit, and thus fully free to give unbiased advice for the benefit of all. There was respect and reverence for these spiritual guides, and their words of wisdom were considered invaluable in the universal quest for happiness and peace. Unfortunately, the modern political world seems starved of such spiritual direction. Scandals, irregularity and hypocrisy are rife, invariably causing suspicion and frustration amongst the electorate.

Having said that, I’m definitely not advocating political apathy. Politics and government is an extremely influential area which significantly impacts the world we live in. If we want to promote spirituality within society, significant change will have to come from political circles. While government candidates often express some kind of God consciousness, it’s often no more than political choreography in the quest for votes. Something more substantial is needed. While trends towards secularism seem powerful, there is a simultaneous recognition in the corporate, educational and political world of the need for genuine spirituality free from the stains of dogmatism, fanaticism and sectarianism. Let’s hope that politicians will embrace the opportunity to consult genuine spiritualists who can inject some eternal perspectives into the equation. Undoubtedly, this would be the politically correct thing to do.

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Window Shopping?

Stephen Covey, Dale Carnegie, Eckhart Tolle, Depak Chopra, Anthony Robbins... the list of self development gurus of the age is endless. These insightful thinkers have shaped today’s world of organizations and relationships, offering a wholesome alternative to the mechanistic trends of consumerism. Recently, while reading some self-help literature, the perspectives stressing positivity and selflessness definitely resonated with me, bearing striking resemblance to eastern worldviews. It’s clear in my mind that different philosophers and teachers all share common core principles of spirituality regardless of civilization or culture.

One doubt, however, did come to mind. I wonder whether such approaches to life are simply an adjustment of the mind. While offering insights which lead to a progressive, peaceful and happy life, I am unsure as to how much such self-development books actually equip and train one to genuinely imbibe this positive approach. Can a deep sense of selflessness and kindness towards the universe manifest on the level of the intellect? Can we force ourselves to forgive others? Can we make a determination to remain equipoised in the midst of the most provoking situations? Maybe such changes in our instinctive emotional response come from a deeper transformation of consciousness. The 64 million dollar question is how we achieve such a change. After all, we don’t want to be window shoppers who are captivated by the products, but have no power to purchase them.

Ancient wisdom literatures describe the product and simultaneously offer the paycheck. While describing the character, qualities and persona of a perfect spiritualist, books like the Bhagavad-gita also equip one with the spiritual tools and technology to achieve such an elevated conscious state. It offers information, as well as transformation. While we may doubt that ancient practices of meditation and yoga can actually bring about tangible changes in ones approach to life, the practical experience of dedicated spiritualists indicate something quite different. Since the calculated procedure outlined by great teachers awakens the spontaneous purity within, the Bhagavad-gita proposes that we need not learn something new, but rather invoke what is already within.

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